listlessness- (noun) inactivity resulting from lethargy and lack of vigor or energy; a feeling of lack of interest or energy
There are few feelings more insidious than ennui. Apathy is worse than failure, sadness, or grief combined because its source lies deep in the shadows. We become listless when we are unable to face the darkness that accompanies being alive. Instead, we pretend not to care--in the hope that by ignoring the problem it will go away, or as a strategy for avoiding hurt or disappointment. The problem is no one can hide from their problems forever. We can either address them now or they can follow us to the grave.
Eliezer "Elie" Wiesel may be the most important man that you have probably never heard of. Romanian author, Nobel laureate, and Holocaust survivor, Wiesel famously said, "The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference." Without a doubt his stance began by observing the clear lack of courage demonstrated by Europeans during the beginning stages of Hitler’s Third Reich, but it didn’t end there. Throughout the rest of his remarkable career, Wiesel saw the destructive power of apathy across the world and dedicated his life to standing up for what was right.
Our day-to-day struggles with indifference may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but that is just a convenient lie. We are all responsible for the choices that we make, and choosing not make a choice is still, after all, a choice. One might argue that we can't be passionate about everything all of the time--that sounds like a recipe for mania and burnout--but being passionate does not mean we lack control or self-preservation. It means a zeal and curiosity for life. There are many people living today who walk around without that fire. There is an even greater number who sell their own precious resources for mere pennies to the most attractive distraction, whether that be social media or the newest fashion trend. Imagine what brilliance we could create if we turned even a fraction of that attention to something more worthy.
This is where lists come in. Having a list would seem to be the obvious solution to listlessness. Lists direct our attention. They help us take stock of what is important. They are plans for the future. They are road maps to our hopes and dreams. When we take the time to write out a list, we are investing part of ourselves, even if it is just a grocery list. There are multiple levels to list making. The most basic ones are perfunctory--tools for memory. One level up are the task-oriented lists that many of us know and hate. Often long and overly ambitious, it is easy to get intimidated by such lists and they are doomed to be ignored without some system of hierarchy to order them. The simplest heuristic is to do the one or two things that will make all of the others easier. That might mean doing the most pressing or challenging ones first, so that we have mental resources for the later ones. This so often means doing the tasks that we have been ignoring the longest.
The next tier of list making is when we shape our future by listing of all of the ways that we wish we could be spending our time--in other words the habits that we have been neglecting. By making this list and consulting it daily, we have some hope that it will come true, but lasting change only comes by committing to the highest level of lists--that of our core values. Defining our core values is the first step towards living by them. This can be an incredibly challenging list to make, but it doesn't have to be perfect the first time. It is completely normal to adapt it as we change and mature as people, a process that boils our values down to their essential components. Often we begin with one belief, only to realize that another, deeper one rests just behind it. On and on the winnowing process goes, until we are left with values that more resemble virtues than personal beliefs. This represents the merging of our small "self" with the larger "Self" of transcendent knowledge and understanding.
Many a dark time in life has been overcome through the small effort of composing a list. As author Johnny Rich put it, “I can make another list because the choice is mine. A list of what to do. So I won't be listless ever again.”